But, Why?


God was lonely, I’m guessing. Wanted company.

He built smart computers that did everything right except stop loneliness.

He drank a whole pot of coffee and made computers with free will that looked vaguely like us because they were us.

His loneliness went away.

But free will brought murder.

God said, “Hey!” and the murdering stopped. Men and women shook with fear.

And loneliness returned.

We were gone. God had ruined us.

Now he had a choice. Stop talking and hide, or end free will forever.

He looked at the stars. They said, “It’s big out here.”

No. Not really. He would get rid of free will, then.

He raised his hand high but before it fell… he fell in love.

With us and our half smiles. The telegraphed humor. Our romance with bad words that make us so sure we’re cool. And all the darling little cars we leave everywhere.

So he went off to hide and think.

While he was away someone said, “There is no free will.”

With that, everyone vanished.

Everyone but God.

He couldn’t sleep because he’d downed that whole pot of coffee.

And he could still see my wife’s hopeful eyes when the kids were young.

Will they come back? Can they?

The stars didn’t answer. They didn’t seem to know.

M. Talmage Moorehead

This is kind of mundane, but…

My in-progress experimental style novel, Hapa Girl DNA starts here. It’s sort of a “hapa” (Hawaiian for “half”) thing itself, a hybrid of fiction and non-fiction. I’m ignoring a ton of “good fiction writing” rules, but I like to question all dogmas in all fields. I’m testing to find out which fiction writing rules matter and which don’t.

If you would like to read my e-book on fiction writing and be notified when each of my novels is done (possibly before the next ice age) join my list here. (No spam or sharing of your info. I haven’t written to my list yet – in over a year. My bad, but I’ll get to it eventually.)

By the way, if you feel like it, please email your best weird friend about this blog (www.storiform.com). Thanks, I appreciate your generous help!


64 thoughts on “But, Why?

  1. silverliningsanddustbunnies

    Wow. I stopped by your blog to thank you for the follow you left on my little Montana blog and was blown away. I am now following yours and hope to have some time to read more of your work. Excellent, thought provoking and extremely well presented. Thank you.

    • Thank you for such a huge compliment. I read your post about your dog, Blossom, who is better now, I hope. This stands out for me:

      “My response?
      “They may be just dogs to you, but that does not make you right.
      “I may very well have a screw loose but caring of another living being is my choice and my privilege.”

      Here’s the link: http://goo.gl/jIJZ26

      Good for you! It takes a rare strength to say those sorts of things. The world is starving to hear from people like you.

    • Thank you. 🙂

      I love this line from you:

      “there is no real standard in Gods eyes that say you have to be thin…”

      That is soooo well said! 🙂 http://poetryspassion.wordpress.com/

      When the next huge asteroid hits and turns the sky dark for too long, the only hope for our species’ survival will be in those who can stay alive for a long time without food. Those champions will not be thin when the rock falls.

      I’m thinking that God sees the whole picture and values each of us for our place in it.

    • No kidding? The humor… That means soooo much to hear. Thank you. When I was a kid I liked making people laugh more than anything else. I even remember feeling guilty about it and talking to the pastor, sort of asking for a cure. He didn’t think it needed a cure, but my OCD pursuit of grades in school soon cured me anyway. Now that I’ve got my life back (quit pathology), I’m finding humor still means so much more to me than it logically should. You mentioned dark humor… I think darkness sort of comes from my background as a pathologist. Living in the shadow of death constantly. My kids call me, “Worst-Case-Scenario Dad.” Haha. Kind of has a ring to it.

      I was just reading your “Simon Magus and Helen” http://darkecologies.com/. That’s far better than anything I’ve ever written. Obviously. Thank you for your work! Wow.

  2. Thanks so much for stopping by and following my blog. You are a truly gifted writer. In answer to your question, I prefer this blog to your other one – I am now following! Good, thought provoking articles on both blogs, but this one seems more engaging, more personal. I wonder what other feedback you have had?

  3. Really liked this. The aspect of interaction of free will and existence, the way you discussed raises all kinds of possibilities in a story. Well done. Thank you for following my blog. I need to check in with you for more of your thoughts.

    • Cliff, that is so kind and generous of you to say. I’m not at all confident about my writing, especially not my fiction.

      Your blog has the essence of joy bubbling out. That is a transcendent gift. Thanks for sharing it!

      All my best,

  4. how “loneliness” when skills so vast
    how too the mind that fills all’s tasks
    how could the smartest of them all
    be “satisfied” with stupid’s “FALL”
    the makeup didn’t open hate
    or give “song” angel open gate
    we haven’t found the WHY just yet
    it’s not our job to place that bet

    Thank YOU for stopping to think.

    • Beautiful poem. This is the first comment I’ve received that contains a poem. And it says it’s not our job to bet on why. Hmmm. You’re probably right. I just can’t help myself. I can’t keep from guessing and speculating and betting my life.
      Thank you for making me think.

  5. This was poignant and thought-provoking. I especially loved these lines because it gave me goosebumps: “He raised his hand high but before it fell… he fell in love.

    With us and our half smiles. The telegraphed humor. Our romance with bad words that make us so sure we’re cool. And all the darling little cars we leave everywhere”

    It makes us seem worthy of redemption despite all of the sins and evils among mankind. And the ending line was also really great, “The stars didn’t answer. They didn’t seem to know.”

    At the risk of sounding like an idiot, I was a bit confused by the ending :$ Was it God or humanity that caused mankind to die out? And after there is nothing left, how could the human species return? Or it the death of humans meant to be metaphorical instead of literal? I was also a bit confused about the significance of the cars. Was that supposed to invoke feelings that God is the father to both adults and kids? Anyway, I look forward to reading more of your writing 🙂

    • You, thepaperbutterfly, couldn’t sound like an idiot if you tried. Please. Everyone knows.

      Me, on the other hand… did you see the deserved dressing down I got from that well-informed atheist in the comment section of “How to Prove Darwinism to the FDA”? Felt like med school all over again. Minus the grim reaper. 😉

      The notion that humans have no free will is, in this story, the poison that kills free will on contact. A human being without free will is not a human being at all, according to this strange wannabe writer who offends people without knowing it. So when humans ate the apple of rejecting free will, we were gone in a blink. We became like the robots who were unable to solve God’s problem of loneliness. Our species was still physically intact, just incapable of the things that free will allows, such as everything human. (Again, not intended to offend anyone. -Like saying that helps!)

      How could we come back from that kind of death? Could we ever?

      I don’t know, but if we did, our bodies would be waiting for us, going about their usual affairs as if nothing had happened, none of us recognizing that from God’s perspective, we had disappeared for a while.

      The cars…

      My son had a zillion little toy cars. I sense a parallel between God’s feelings toward us and our feelings toward our kids, especially when they’re toddlers. Also there’s a parallel emotion between parents wondering if their adult kids will ever come back home to see them, and God wondering about us coming back from the oblivion of rejecting the free will he gave us.

      Hey, thanks for your kind words and direct questions. It gives me a sense of what’s obscure from an objective view.

  6. Interesting musings on free will and determinism. More so through a Theistic perspective. It makes one wonder and think.

    Thank you for the recent follow as well. I’d love to hear your thoughts whenever you feel inspired to give them.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.