Conspiracy Theory in Top Science Journal, Nature

Every anchor and talking head on TV “news” uses the term “conspiracy theory” to discredit the people and ideas of the one genuinely stupid political party…

That party is always the Democrats if you’re watching Fox “News,” and it’s always the Republicans if you’re watching any other TV “news” outlet. Of course, we each are fortunate enough to have landed in the political party of truth and goodness, probably since birth.

Talk about blind luck.

The two parties agree on very little, but they hold two fundamental truths in common: 1. the other party is flat wrong about everything. 2. the other party is a conspiracy of idiots.

Beyond that socially acceptable conspiracy theory (made kosher by Hilary Clinton’s “vast right-wing conspiracy” rhetoric) we’ve all been conditioned to feel embarrassment and shame if we find ourselves believing or even exploring a conspiracy theory.

Once a theory has been tarred and feathered with the voodoo adjective “conspiracy,” most intelligent people assume it’s a false theory. They make this leap of faith with absolute emotional certainty, knowing that only weak-minded, gullible people believe conspiracy theories.

Smart people don’t waste time looking at the bogus data behind a theoretical explanation that includes more than one person trying to do the same naughty, secretive thing at the same time. Naughty, secretive people always act independently and alone in the real world. Obviously.

This heuristic is so useful, efficient, and socially acceptable, we carry it around like a cell phone. “Conspiracy theory? Don’t insult my intelligence.”

Unfortunately, those intellectually uninformed PhD’s at Nature, the world’s top scientific journal, must have missed the memo.

Here they are with the audacity to expect us to believe that a theoretical conspiracy exists on the part of those government organizations who provide money to scientific researchers. We know this kind of stuff is impossible, but these gullible geeks at Nature think the research funders are censoring things and forcing researchers to change their results for reasons that are political and unscientific…

Health researchers report funder pressure to suppress results

https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-02242-x

A few quotes from the article in Nature:

A survey of public-health researchers has found numerous instances of trial results being suppressed on topics such as nutrition, sexual health, physical activity and substance use….

The survey, published in PLoS One1, involved 104 researchers from regions including North America, Europe and Oceania….

the findings bolster those [findings] of previous studies, such as a 2006 survey of government-funded health research that also found many instances of requests to ‘sanitize’ results and block or delay their publication.

A 2016 inquiry into the delayed publication of research commissioned by UK government agencies identified cases in which publication was “manipulated to fit with political concerns”. More recently, the British Medical Journal reported four instances of politicization and suppression of science in the United Kingdom during the COVID-19 pandemic.

It’s all a bunch of conspiracy-theory hogwash, right? But I wonder if the CIA really did have anything to do with making the term “conspiracy theory” popular. Here’s how it really went down:

Imagine it’s 1964 and you’re 19, living in the USSR and working for the SVR, the Soviet’s equivalent of the CIA.

In colloquial English training class your eyes land on a strange new term, “conspiracy theory.” You look it up. An idea pops into your head.

You feel brilliant and powerful rushing to tell your boss.

“Comrade, I am thinking we must make the Westerners feel all the shame in this ‘conspiracy theory’ thing of theirs.”

“What you want, Boris? You see I’m buried here.”

After explaining yourself to the whiskered gnome, he loves your idea.

“Boris, you most brilliant monkey of everyone!” He brings out a shot glass, pours himself a finger of Vodka. “Our existence will be taboos for no discussion. The Americans will no dare thinking we are here — what you said — a real thing.” An iniquitous mirth comes over him. He chuckles and you beam at the floor between your feet.

The Spring brings your fifth field assignment, a big one. You jump a freighter, shiver in wet, cold darkness for almost 4 seasick weeks, then emerge squinting into the morning sunrise to jump the rail and swim past the Statue of Liberty toward your mission. You must infiltrate the CIA.

The ice in your young veins can do this. You can do anything for the great cause of the Motherland.

But it turns out that life is not so bad in the US. Thin-crusted Pizza. Ice cream. A person need not fear hunger in such an oddly selfish world.

You decide you must become a double agent. It’s the one way to be sure you will always have food… fit for a king!

During the second week of routine interrogation for the lowest security clearance, you spill the kidney beans and tell your new American Comrade, Nate, all about the Soviet’s nefarious plans to attach emotional disgrace and shame to the term “conspiracy theory.”

“They think it will help them remain invisible in the West,” you explain to the interrogator who must have cut himself shaving this morning and now has a piece of white toilet paper stuck to his pointy chin. The thinnest, softest paper imaginable. Everyone has it. No such paper ever wiped a bottom in the Motherla… in the USSR.

The door bursts open and the head of the CIA marches in, his eyes fixed on you. You look at Nate who seems frozen.

“You came up with that, did you, kid? What is it… Boris?”

Your head nods without consent.

“Comrade Boris…” The chief leans across the white table and puts a hand on your sweaty shoulder. “CB, we’ll call you, then.” He straightens back and folds his arms. “You’ve just earned yourself mid-level clearance, my boy.” He turns to the interrogator. “Nate, get CB some clothes fast and take him over to meet Smith at the Times. This morning. Tell agent Smith to make this man a reporter on the fast track. And tell him I want to see “conspiracy theory” plastered on every page that even remotely alludes to the Kennedy assignation. You got that?

“Yes, Sir,” Nate says, then looks across the table at you with a brand new expression on his narrow face. Respect.

Lumping all conspiracy theories together in a trash can will obstruct your search for truth because no such binary heuristic can guide you accurately through a complex system like this world, a place where symbiosis dances with predation to a tune by Yin and Yang.

Conspiratorial Love,

Morrill Talmage Moorehead, MD

 

 

6 thoughts on “Conspiracy Theory in Top Science Journal, Nature

  1. Fluoride treatments are one of the first things that come to mind (after the present Covid vaccine fiasco). Government surveys will tell you all the positive things about using fluoride but I know several people who have actually lost their teeth from too much fluoride. We have too much fluoride in our daily use from the water we use to the toothpaste. Then along comes the dentist and wants to give fluoride treatments.

    Holistic doctors will warn you of using fluoride as it weakens teeth and bones as well as dulls the brain. Have you ever noticed the increase in mental retardation since the use of fluoride has been added to our drinking water? In this small community, the school for the mentally handicapped has gone from needing two short buses to having six full-size buses lining up at the end of the day. Fluoride has been shown to reduce IQ in children.

    Sometimes it seems that the government is trying to dumb down America so they can have their way with the people. Don’t even get me started on the lies they have told about the vaccine and its benefits…not mentioning the people who are dying or having severe reactions.

    • I recently bought a new water filter with a fluoride filter attached below the regular filter. I doubt we’ll ever see the mainstream fund any expensive science on the long term effects of fluoride. Back in the 1950’s there was a mentality that swept over almost everyone to the effect that anything science cames up with was going to be wonderful for sure. They gave elective radiation to people’s thyroid glands. They put fluoride in the water. They decided that everyone needs to absorb mildly toxic chemicals through their arm pits to stop the smell, and than added other chemicals to stop the sweating. What could possibly go wrong? After great success and the saving millions of lives with certain vaccines, they reasoned, “if a little is good, a ton is better” and began incresing the number of simultaneous vaccinations administered to children and infants. Notice now they tell us not to get other vaccines close to when you get the COVID vaccine. Someone should take that thought and extrapolate it to infants and children for crying out loud. I could go on and on, but the bottom line is, I agree with you. Of course on the Covid thing, at my age (65) I think there is almost certainly less risk in taking the vaccine than in catching covid, at least the original strain. This Delta variant seems to be more infections but less lethal, so in my humble and ignorant opinion, I think the joury is still out on booster shots for Delta prevention. But like I keep reminding myself, I’m often wrong about important things. I could be wrong this time, too. 🙂

      • Nice to know I can disagree without you being angry. From the information my holistic doctors have given me, the Covid vaccine has something in it that will over a few years cause heart issues and cancer. They are predicting in three years there are going to be massive deaths – just like Bill Gates and friends want. We’ll have to wait to see if they are correct but they do a lot of research before arriving at those conclusions. I’m taking my chances with no vaccine (until they tie me down to give me one) and taking vitamins and supplements to boost my immune system. If I happen to catch it, which is possible for anyone, I don’t believe it will be as bad with a strong immune system. Of course, if you don’t hear from me again, you’ll know I made a bad choice.

        • I see the possibility of what you’re saying. I totally believe that real conspiracies of this sort happen in this world, and we’re silly sheep to ignore them or write them off as impossible and nutty. Delayed immune responses are a real possibility. If I’m dead in a few years from getting the vaccination, it will surprise me (from beyond the simulation), but I can’t rule this scenario out by any scientific criteria I’m aware of. With my kidney condition (a mild case of autosomal dominant polycystic kidney disease), I’m in a somewhat higher risk group for death from COVID-19 than others my age with no comorbidities. So I tried to weigh the theoretical risks as best I could. I respect your decision and hope we both get out of this thing alive. Be safe, Gypsy Bev. Much love.

  2. We must continue to search for truth no mattter what label someone has placed on it. From personal experience, any survey that is conducted by the government is probably not the best place to find the truth.

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